Why the Virat-Anushka Camaraderie Evokes Different Reactions in Men and Women

It’s Sunday, and we’re all gathered around the TV, watching India celebrate its victory against New Zealand at the Champions Trophy 2025. Somewhere between the post-match interviews and the celebrations, the camera pans to an elated Virat Kohli sprinting to the stands, wrapping his wife, Anushka Sharma, in a warm hug. The crowd cheers, but behind me, I hear a snicker.

It’s not the first time.

Every time the camera finds Anushka during a match, there’s a shift in energy. A snide remark, a knowing smirk, a loud scoff – mostly from the men in the room. And yet, the next day, when I’m catching up with my female friends over coffee, the conversation drifts to Virat and Anushka’s bond – this time with admiration, even a bit of awe.

I’m not sure if the divide is as clear-cut as men versus women, but this has been my lived experience. Over the years, I’ve admired Virat’s evolution, respected the dynamic I’ve seen play out between him and Anushka in public places. Meanwhile, many of my male friends squirm at the mention of her name, convinced she’s been a negative influence on his life and career.

So, why the difference? What are men seeing that women aren’t or vice versa?

Seeing the Same Thing But Differently

Regardless of how differently they perceive the bond, both men and women are watching the same Virat-Anushka equation play out.

Virat has long been the embodiment of the hyper-masculine sports figure, idolized for his aggression, competitiveness, and unrelenting drive. In a patriarchal framework, these traits are understood to be the foundation of his success.

Then came Anushka. And suddenly, the world saw the same man break out of the stereotypical alpha male mold – publicly displaying emotional reliance on his partner. He started showing qualities that don’t quite fit the traditional hyper-masculine image: expressing love and admiration, emotional vulnerability, publicly acknowledging his partner’s role in his life, breaking the career-first stereotype, and so much more.

The situation we are all looking at is the same: A man has chosen to embrace a more holistic version of himself, one that doesn’t adhere strictly to outdated gender norms. And there happens to be a woman by his side during this evolution whether she plays a role in it or not.

So, why do people react so differently to it?

What Makes Men Shift in Their Seats With Unease Seeing Anushka and Virat?

Before I delve further into this, let me be clear: This isn’t an argument about who is right or wrong. That doesn’t matter. Virat and Anushka are happy where they are, and each of us is entitled to our own opinions.

This is simply an opportunity for reflection.

Through countless conversations with both men and women, I’ve tried to understand the stark difference in how they perceive the same situation. If anything, this is an invitation to expand our perspectives and consider where the other side is coming from.

The patriarchal mold.

Virat Kohli broke the mold of what society unconsciously expects from a successful man, especially in the world of sports.

A high-achieving male athlete is understood to be ruthlessly ambitious, fully consumed by his craft. Aggression is welcomed. Prioritizing the sport over family is expected. Emotional detachment is often seen as a necessity.

But affection, emotional vulnerability, and prioritizing personal life? Those have never quite fit the script.

So, when Virat, for his own reasons, chose to shed some of these traditional alpha-male traits and embrace a different version of masculinity – one that included family, emotional depth, and even lifestyle choices that may be influenced by his wife – it possibly stirred up something deeply ingrained in many men. It most likely challenged a deep-seated conditioning of what it means to be a man in this society.

It was unfamiliar territory for most men – one that perhaps felt like a no-go zone, even within themselves. Because somewhere along the way, these very qualities of emotional expression and gentleness had been conditioned out of them.

• Turning vegan or accepting any practice or philosophy because your wife believes in it? That’s experienced as giving in.

• Being emotionally vulnerable in front of a woman? That’s equated with weakness.

• Prioritizing family over career in any way? That’s considered unmanly.

  
  

Virat, whether knowingly or not, defied all these norms and in doing so, he exposed a contradiction that many men live with.

And when something makes us uncomfortable, psychological theories point out that we seek a scapegoat.

So, the blame, in this case, went to Anushka. Because history is also witness to how women are blamed when men disrupt the status quo. Eve was blamed for Adam eating the apple. Yoko Ono was blamed for The Beatles’ breakup. Women have been called "distractions" for powerful men for centuries. This is a not a new or one-off phenomenon.

But no, I’m not saying men are the problem.

The problem is the mold: the rigid, outdated, narrow definition of masculinity that we, as a society, have reinforced for generations.

So, when I hear a snicker, a scoff, a sarcastic remark about Virat-Anushka, I don’t see malice. I see discomfort. Because something that many men have denied within themselves, Virat has embraced publicly. And that is unsettling.

But here’s the thing: For me, this discomfort is often the first step toward change.

As more men like Virat step into new definitions of strength, leadership, and partnership, the old mold will start to crack. And maybe, just maybe, more men will start to feel at ease being fully themselves – softer, more expressive, and no less powerful for it.

And that? That would be something worth celebrating.

What Makes Women Hopeful Seeing the Same Equation?

While some men feel compelled to see Anushka as diminishing Virat’s autonomy, women often see it the exact opposite way. His emotional expressiveness, soft demeanor, and evident respect for Anushka evoke two distinct responses among women in my opinion:

1. The "Woman Changed Him" Narrative - A Psychological Trap

A lot of us, women, fall into the age-old trap of believing that a woman’s role is to "change" a man. This perspective, though seemingly positive on the surface, is actually detrimental to women from a psychological standpoint.

It reinforces the idea that a man’s personal evolution is driven by a woman’s presence, rather than his own agency and choices. This not only takes away from the man’s individual growth but also places an undue burden on women to "fix" or "nurture" men into being better partners.

It can lead to disappointment and resentment when women in their own lives expect a similar transformation from their partners, only to realize that true change can’t be imposed, it has to come from within.

2. The Hope for Progressive Masculinity

And then there’s also a sense of hope. Virat’s transformation looks like a sign of progressive masculinity taking root in the society.

Women are recognizing that men too are victims of patriarchy, conditioned to suppress emotions, bear the burden of always "being strong," and define their worth by their achievements alone. They understand that Virat’s openness isn’t about him losing something, it’s about him gaining the freedom to be his full self.

To have examples like Virat sends a powerful message: Men don’t have to choose between being strong and being themselves. They can be both.

And yes, the hue and cry around Virat and Anushka’s camaraderie? It’s a good thing, isn’t it? Because every conversation - every discomfort, every debate - is a sign that something fundamental is shifting.

Virat’s Unintentional Leadership in Change

Regardless of whether Anushka has a role in it or not, what truly matters is that Virat made a choice to be open about his transformation, to embrace vulnerability, and to continue succeeding as a leader.

Every time he spoke about mental health, took paternity leave, or expressed his emotions without restraint, he sent out an unintentional but powerful message:

You don’t have to fit the traditional mold to be successful. You can be fully yourself, different from what’s expected of you and continue to succeed.

And for the millions of young men watching him, that message might just be the permission they need to do the same.

Thank you, Virat.